z
zeldathemes
Allons-y
You can call me Jamie

I'm 19 and Taken

I live in Perth, Western Australia

I'm sexual as fuck

and I get drunk too much.

always follow back :3


1 2 3 4 5 »

imthecoolcookie:

somethingodd:

THEY ARE LIKE LITTLE SAUSAGES MADE OF PUPPY.

Im ready to die

herriestiles:

shelterfromcold:

two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says “man, i can’t believe i blew thirty bucks in there”.

this literally took me forever to get

uglygirlsclub:

don’t date anyone who isn’t proud of you

wastery:

Me :

image

shess-not-breathing-hello:

never have i related to anything more

shess-not-breathing-hello:

never have i related to anything more

imhiskindofcrazy:

yourpetdog:

yourpetdog:

what if i ordered pizza in the middle of the hurricane.

they yelled at me.

image

wanksclub:

i hope all of this is a dream i’m having at the age of 7

jazminnnecacho:

lancrebitch:

crunchierkatie:

i love seeing girls close ranks when their fella is cheating, instead of defending him and attacking the other girls. like seriously. it warms my cold, cold heart so much. 

i need the rest of this story, where did you put the body

Same

d0nn0:

there are more nipples in the world than people

thecaptains-steaz:

waakeme-up:

taco-bell-rey:

When you fart in class and it doesn’t make a sound

image

THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING

lollllllllllll

iamaslumberbatch:

a-lot-like-diana:

so basically when you have your period and your lower back hurts it is because your hips are contracting and spreading apart, only slightly, to make room for the release of the blood and linings of your uterus. so basically your body is going through a small and mild labor to push out the dead insides of your uterus. so basically I have gone through labor and basically I don’t want children. 

why aren’t we taught this shit

princesachicana:

……anyways *grabs own titty*

thatfunnyblog:

me introducing myself on the first day of school:

image